FOR JOHNNY · PRIVATE BY DEFAULT
No expectations.
No assignments.
Just somewhere to put things while you figure shit out.
WHAT DO YOU NEED?
01 · CURIOSITY DOESN'T NEED TO BE PRODUCTIVE
Things worth knowing.
02 · MAKE A THING. IT COUNTS.
Build something.
03 · THE STUFF HE'LL ACTUALLY REMEMBER
Dad stuff.
The ordinary days count too.
Things I want Elliot to know
Skills, stories, principles, dumb jokes—whatever feels worth passing down.
04 · NO DISSERTATION. JUST THE NEXT TEN MINUTES.
When my brain is being an asshole.
PICK WHAT'S HAPPENING
You don't need to solve your entire life right now.
Just name the problem. We'll make the next ten minutes smaller.
If you might hurt yourself, someone else, or use in a way that could kill you: call or text 988. If it’s an immediate emergency, call 911.
05 · STARTING OVER DOESN'T MEAN STARTING EMPTY
The reset.
You don't figure out who you are and then live that way. You choose how to live, repeatedly, and eventually that becomes who you are.
06 · MAKE IT PHYSICAL, SMALL, AND REAL
Build a life.
CHECK THE FOUNDATION FIRST
Maslow, without the pyramid bullshit.
When everything feels wrong, the problem may not be your entire life. One layer might just need attention. These needs overlap—you don't have to perfectly finish one before you're allowed to care about the next.
Tap the layer that feels thinnest right now. Then do one small thing for it.
Start with the layer that needs you.
You don't need to rebuild the whole pyramid tonight.
TURN IT INTO A NEXT MOVE
07 · YOUR APARTMENT HAS RELEASED YOU
Outside.
08 · EVIDENCE, NOT A SALES PITCH
For when you forget.
This isn’t a list of reasons you owe me anything. It’s just evidence that you’ve mattered.
You have done things you’re not proud of. That doesn’t make them disappear—but it also doesn’t require you to remain the person who did them.
You’re allowed to build the next version on purpose.
01
You care deeply about being a good dad, even on the days when you feel like you're getting it wrong.
02
You can make people laugh when the room feels heavy. That matters more than you probably think.
03
You are curious, capable, and good with your hands. You can learn hard things by actually doing them.
04
The fact that you can see what you want to change means you are not stuck being one version of yourself forever.
Your own evidence
A win, a good dad moment, something you handled differently. Tiny counts.